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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:26pm Post subject: Kyle Katarn Facts - The Game! |
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A Star Wars-themed parody of Chuck Norris facts.
#1. The Yuuzhan Vong weren't flying towards our galaxy, they were running away from Kyle Katarn.
#2. Kyle Katarn crossed the road. No one dared question his motives.
#3. Alpha Red was really a diluted form of Kyle Katarn's urine. _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code |
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Gavin Young Benji
Joined: 17 Jul 2009 Posts: 92 Location: Australia
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:31pm Post subject: |
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#4 Kyle Katarn isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Kyle Katarn. _________________ "Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:40pm Post subject: |
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#5. Kyle Katarn once got into a lightsaber fight. The lightsaber lost.
#6. Kyle Katarn has the heart of a Krayt Dragon. He keeps it in a jar.
#7. Kyle Katarn never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. The Sith never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
#8. Kyle Katarn once visited an area of space known as the "Cloak of the Sith." It is now known as "The Cloak." _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code |
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Ams Jendob Moff
Joined: 14 Jun 2009 Posts: 1579 Location: The Gala
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:44pm Post subject: |
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Gavin, is this what inspired you to ask your favor? _________________ Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant
----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler---- |
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Gavin Young Benji
Joined: 17 Jul 2009 Posts: 92 Location: Australia
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:46pm Post subject: |
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Psh, no. _________________ "Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young
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Ams Jendob Moff
Joined: 14 Jun 2009 Posts: 1579 Location: The Gala
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Posted: Tue, August 18th 2009 11:59pm Post subject: |
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So, yes. _________________ Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant
----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler---- |
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Kastor Antilles Cray
Joined: 14 Jun 2009 Posts: 417
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 12:02am Post subject: |
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#9. Sand used to be soft and gentle until Kyle Katarn came to Tatooine. _________________
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 12:03am Post subject: |
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#10. Tatooine used to look like Manaan...until Kyle Katarn got thirsty.
#11. Mon Calamari used to look like Tatooine...until Kyle Katarn had to urinate. _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
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Gavin Young Benji
Joined: 17 Jul 2009 Posts: 92 Location: Australia
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 12:44am Post subject: |
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#12. The Bith were once hairy like Wookiees. However Kyle Katarn sneezed... _________________ "Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young
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Jonathan Ferris Orrion Carn
Joined: 14 Aug 2009 Posts: 70 Location: Eriga Nu
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 01:41am Post subject: |
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# 13. The Imperial Army used to be 'Scary' and 'Unbeatable'... Until Kyle Katarn joined the Imperial Army. _________________ Senior Captain, Jonathan Ferris of the New Republic
Commands the Keldabe-class Battleship, Infinity
Though it's outdated, it's still has enough armor to stand up to Modern Firepower.
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 09:54am Post subject: |
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#14. Kyle Katarn can divide infinite by zero. _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code |
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Jahan Stresemann Alexus
Joined: 19 Jul 2009 Posts: 186
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 10:22am Post subject: |
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#15 Kyle Katarn can rap, despite being white. _________________
Admiral Jahan Stresemann
"The highest rank in the New Republic is that of Civilian." |
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John Kiles Cheapy
Joined: 20 Jul 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Location, Location!
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 10:29am Post subject: |
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#16. Kyle Katarn frequently beats the odds. With his fists. _________________ Commodore John Kiles - Imperial Remnant Battlegroup Gauntlet
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Gavin Young Benji
Joined: 17 Jul 2009 Posts: 92 Location: Australia
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 12:22pm Post subject: |
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#17. Kyle Katarn has counted to infinity. Twice. _________________ "Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young
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Kastor Antilles Cray
Joined: 14 Jun 2009 Posts: 417
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 01:16pm Post subject: |
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#18. Ysalimari lived in harmony with the Force until Kyle Katarn was born. _________________
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Jahan Stresemann Alexus
Joined: 19 Jul 2009 Posts: 186
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 01:16pm Post subject: |
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18. If you don't know who your father is, it's Kyle Katarn. _________________
Admiral Jahan Stresemann
"The highest rank in the New Republic is that of Civilian." |
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Lucas Pallanén-Davad Alex
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 1153 Location: Aboard the Blight Leaper
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 10:51pm Post subject: |
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(Jahan and Alexus both have 18)
#20 Kyle Katarn does not sleep. He waits. |
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:04pm Post subject: |
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#21. If you can see Kyle Katarn, Kyle Katarn can see you. If you can't see Kyle Katarn, you may only be seconds away from death.
#22. The phrase "UNLIMITED POWAH!" is often used to describe Kyle Katarn's farts. _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
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Kelson Ordo Lazer
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 213
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:05pm Post subject: |
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(Jahan is Alexus )
23. Kyle Katarn used to star in video games. Video games now star in Kyle Katarn. _________________ Captain Kelson Ordo
506th Airborne, Third Drop-Shock Battalion, L-Company, 1st Platoon, 2nd Squad Leader.
"There are two types of people you're gunna encounter. Those who'll try and shoot you, and those you shot first." -Kelson Ordo
Lazer X7 |
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:08pm Post subject: |
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#24. Kyle Katarn doesn't endorse. He tells Lucasarts how it's gonna be.
#25. Kyle Katarn walked into a bar. The bar said "Ouch!" _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
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Kelson Ordo Lazer
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 213
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:10pm Post subject: |
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26. Kyle Katarn went swimming and hit a concrete wall. He said dam. Then proceeded to tear down the dam. With his fists. _________________ Captain Kelson Ordo
506th Airborne, Third Drop-Shock Battalion, L-Company, 1st Platoon, 2nd Squad Leader.
"There are two types of people you're gunna encounter. Those who'll try and shoot you, and those you shot first." -Kelson Ordo
Lazer X7 |
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Lucas Pallanén-Davad Alex
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 1153 Location: Aboard the Blight Leaper
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:10pm Post subject: |
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Kelson Ordo wrote: | (Jahan is Alexus ) |
Whoops, meant Kastor Antilles.
#27. When Kyle Katarn falls into water, he isn't wet. The water is Kyle Katarn. |
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Nik Starskimmer Cheapy
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 149 Location: Inside your head
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:12pm Post subject: |
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#27. Cortosis is the shattered remnants of the razors Kyle uses to shave his beard. _________________ "There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
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Ams Jendob Moff
Joined: 14 Jun 2009 Posts: 1579 Location: The Gala
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Posted: Wed, August 19th 2009 11:27pm Post subject: |
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29. There are four substances lightsabers cannot cut through: phrik, cortosis, beskar, and Kyle Katarn. However, Kyle Katarn can cut through a lightsaber blade. _________________ Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant
----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler---- |
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Aaron Church Lazer
Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 75
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Posted: Sat, August 22nd 2009 01:13am Post subject: |
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30. That was no moon. It was Kyle Katarn. _________________ Lieutenant Aaron Church
Gauntlet Insertion-Extraction Gunship Unit
Well, here's something you can't do...
Lazer X7 |
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