Kyle Katarn Facts - The Game!

[Nik Starskimmer]

A Star Wars-themed parody of Chuck Norris facts.

#1. The Yuuzhan Vong weren't flying towards our galaxy, they were running away from Kyle Katarn.

#2. Kyle Katarn crossed the road. No one dared question his motives.

#3. Alpha Red was really a diluted form of Kyle Katarn's urine.
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Gavin Young]

#4 Kyle Katarn isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Kyle Katarn.
_________________
"Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young

[Nik Starskimmer]

#5. Kyle Katarn once got into a lightsaber fight. The lightsaber lost.

#6. Kyle Katarn has the heart of a Krayt Dragon. He keeps it in a jar.

#7. Kyle Katarn never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. The Sith never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#8. Kyle Katarn once visited an area of space known as the "Cloak of the Sith." It is now known as "The Cloak."
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Ams Jendob]

Gavin, is this what inspired you to ask your favor?
_________________
Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant

----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler----

[Gavin Young]

Psh, no.
_________________
"Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young

[Ams Jendob]

So, yes.
_________________
Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant

----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler----

[Kastor Antilles]

#9. Sand used to be soft and gentle until Kyle Katarn came to Tatooine.
_________________

[Nik Starskimmer]

#10. Tatooine used to look like Manaan...until Kyle Katarn got thirsty.

#11. Mon Calamari used to look like Tatooine...until Kyle Katarn had to urinate.
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Gavin Young]

#12. The Bith were once hairy like Wookiees. However Kyle Katarn sneezed...
_________________
"Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young

[Jonathan Ferris]

# 13. The Imperial Army used to be 'Scary' and 'Unbeatable'... Until Kyle Katarn joined the Imperial Army.
_________________
Senior Captain, Jonathan Ferris of the New Republic
Commands the Keldabe-class Battleship, Infinity
Though it's outdated, it's still has enough armor to stand up to Modern Firepower.

[Nik Starskimmer]

#14. Kyle Katarn can divide infinite by zero.
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Jahan Stresemann]

#15 Kyle Katarn can rap, despite being white.
_________________


Admiral Jahan Stresemann
"The highest rank in the New Republic is that of Civilian."

[John Kiles]

#16. Kyle Katarn frequently beats the odds. With his fists.
_________________
Commodore John Kiles - Imperial Remnant Battlegroup Gauntlet

[Gavin Young]

#17. Kyle Katarn has counted to infinity. Twice.
_________________
"Rule number one. Never screw over your partner, or your squad. This rule supersedes all others."
- Gavin Young

[Kastor Antilles]

#18. Ysalimari lived in harmony with the Force until Kyle Katarn was born.
_________________

[Jahan Stresemann]

18. If you don't know who your father is, it's Kyle Katarn.
_________________


Admiral Jahan Stresemann
"The highest rank in the New Republic is that of Civilian."

[Lucas Pallanén-Davad]

(Jahan and Alexus both have 18)

#20 Kyle Katarn does not sleep. He waits.

[Nik Starskimmer]

#21. If you can see Kyle Katarn, Kyle Katarn can see you. If you can't see Kyle Katarn, you may only be seconds away from death.

#22. The phrase "UNLIMITED POWAH!" is often used to describe Kyle Katarn's farts.
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Kelson Ordo]

(Jahan is Alexus )

23. Kyle Katarn used to star in video games. Video games now star in Kyle Katarn.
_________________
Captain Kelson Ordo
506th Airborne, Third Drop-Shock Battalion, L-Company, 1st Platoon, 2nd Squad Leader.

"There are two types of people you're gunna encounter. Those who'll try and shoot you, and those you shot first." -Kelson Ordo

Lazer X7

[Nik Starskimmer]

#24. Kyle Katarn doesn't endorse. He tells Lucasarts how it's gonna be.

#25. Kyle Katarn walked into a bar. The bar said "Ouch!"
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Kelson Ordo]

26. Kyle Katarn went swimming and hit a concrete wall. He said dam. Then proceeded to tear down the dam. With his fists.
_________________
Captain Kelson Ordo
506th Airborne, Third Drop-Shock Battalion, L-Company, 1st Platoon, 2nd Squad Leader.

"There are two types of people you're gunna encounter. Those who'll try and shoot you, and those you shot first." -Kelson Ordo

Lazer X7

[Lucas Pallanén-Davad]

[Nik Starskimmer]

#27. Cortosis is the shattered remnants of the razors Kyle uses to shave his beard.
_________________
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."
Jedi Code

[Ams Jendob]

29. There are four substances lightsabers cannot cut through: phrik, cortosis, beskar, and Kyle Katarn. However, Kyle Katarn can cut through a lightsaber blade.
_________________
Emperor Ams Jendob, Ruler of the Imperial Remnant

----"Moff", CMAC Dreamcrusher, Official Administrative Waldorf and Statler----

[Aaron Church]

30. That was no moon. It was Kyle Katarn.
_________________
Lieutenant Aaron Church
Gauntlet Insertion-Extraction Gunship Unit

Well, here's something you can't do...

Lazer X7